Still hiding: Female introverts avoiding self promotion

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There's still a long way to go for women and self promotion

It seems the more I talk about this subject the more people resonate with it. Women are telling me that self promotion is the biggest thing that is holding them back.

And when I talk about self promotion I am not only referring to sales. I am talking about selling yourself. Speaking up and telling others how great you are. Asking for more. Sharing your ideas and opinions with confidence. Using your voice. Being heard.

It would seem that even when women are confident and successful at what they do, there is still an aspect of holding back from sharing that. They just get on with the day job, and hope that those they have impacted and worked with will tell others. And this is a great way of marketing, but it’s not the only way.

I sell confidence.

It is my thing and I love to help women feel more confident and believe in themselves. I not only have to show what I’ve got, and how I do that, but I also have to be confident too. Lead by example. But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about the times when I am not. I am authentic and what you see is most definitely what you get.

I am not someone that becomes a different person when I walk on stage or has a new persona when I do a facebook live. I am actually quite proud of the fact that when I meet people in ‘real life’ they actually say ‘wow you are just the same’. And that’s because integrity is so important to me. Being who you say you are. Doing what you say you do. I can’t be anyone but me and I think this is the starting place for all women when it comes to self promotion.

You are selling you.

And that is the tough bit for a lot of people, especially introverts who I specialise in working with as they often want to avoid the spotlight or putting themselves in the middle of a massive noisy networking event full of small talk and people they would run a mile from, never mind work with.

A recent study by Lindeman, Durik & Dooley (2019) confirmed what we all think and that’s women worry too much about what others think of them. They go into more detail around stereotypes and the impact of what women want to do, in comparison of what they ‘should’ do, resulting in cognitive dissonance so they don’t promote themselves at all, but it comes down to that dualism - it is almost like we want to stand out, whilst wanting to fit in.

So where does that leave women who need to promote themselves?

The obvious answer is to forget what people think about you - but it isn’t as easy as that as this forms part of the belief system you hold about yourself created over your entire lifetime. So what is needed is to look at that cognitive dissonance between wanting to stand out and also belong, unpick those beliefs and start to form new ones in order to actively enjoy promoting yourself with the knowledge that it can only help others when you do. That it’s not all about you.

Then we have other obstacles that creep in like imposter syndrome and self doubts which can be tackled in the same way. In other words; self awareness is key to growth. Learn three proven strategies to be more confident with self promotion which I know has already helped so many women get started and feel good about it.

Promotion is serious business

If no one knows what you do then no one will buy - it is that simple. But you don’t have to do what everyone is doing and I think that in itself often puts women off too. Yet we are led to believe the opposite to be true; and whilst watching others we think we have to be like them to be heard or stand out. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Isn’t it time we started testing our own theories, experimenting and seeing what works for us? But to do that you have to start talking about YOU.

International Women’s Day

We are celebrating International Women’s day and celebrating ALL women around the world, there are still areas that need to be addressed. Not only equality in general, the gender pay gap, sexual exploitation, but also how we view ourselves. Where do we as individual women fit into this big picture on a day to day basis.

I know so may women who don’t know how amazing they are. They just don’t see what I see. And that’s why I love to be able to open their eyes and unlock all their power and potential. Women need to see the positives in promoting themselves in an authentic way that feels good to them. It doesn’t have to be the way ‘promotion’ has always been or always been seen - but can be fun and meaningful for everyone.

The more women can look inside themselves and make those changes they need to make to step up and speak out - then the more other women will be inspired to do the same.

This is the most important step as a female leader in your industry; to stand out amongst the noise at a time when the internet seems to be exploding with everyone doing the same thing.

You are not the same - you are unique - now go show them that.

** Gemma Stow works with female leaders who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find what is getting in the way of putting themselves forward, self promotion and creates a space for them to explore who they really are and who they want to become.  As well as  private coaching using high level techniques including CBT, NLP and MI , she runs Introverts Talk Biz events where women come together to share ideas, struggles and make plans. More info on the next one HERE. Or book in a chat with Gemma if you are looking to increase your confidence so that you can do the things you keep telling yourself you can’t do **



You don't need to be extroverted to be successful or happier


Articles and opinions telling me how I should be more extroverted to be successful in business frustrate me.

There are so many and even the ones that are supposed to be championing us introverts are still using the same old descriptors, shy, quiet, anti social……for the love of god please hear me when I say - Introverts are phenomenal, can be loud, ambitious, strong and love meeting people. Ok so we might have to hibernate for a day or two after doing all that but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to! I am not quiet but I LOVE quiet.

Introverts are amazing business owners and amazing people!

Research seems to be finally figuring it out that we don’t have to be more extroverted to be happier - come on, you really think that’s news to us? Why would we to change who we are. Of course we want to learn new ways of doing things, but that doesn’t mean we want to be more extroverted. We like being who we are. I love that I can spend time alone and come up wth ideas and the answers to things I have been overthinking for days. I love that feeling after I have actually been to a networking event when I get home and kick off my shoes, put my pjs on and feel proud to have met some new interesting people and told them about what I am up to. I love challenging myself to do the things I think I can’t only to realise I can actually do them and if I can do this then nothing is out of my reach.

Please don’t let your introversion stop you doing anything if you want it that much. If you don’t and you are happy to chill out at home and stay in your comfort zone then that’s fine too. It’s all about what YOU want that matters and that might mean stepping up and out of that comfort zone!

Asking or expecting somebody to change what is fundamental about them like their personality, is never going to make anyone happier.

Now I am the biggest believe in change. I was a Probation officer for years and also worked with some very vulnerable and challenging young people so I know that believing in change is part of who I am. It is possible for everyone. But this is about change that is welcomed or craved. Saying things like ‘introverts will be more happier if they are more extroverted’ is like the craziest thing I have heard. I am happiest to be me. Yes I am happy to push and challenge myself because that’s part of my personality too! It has nothing to do with me being an introvert. Introversion is about energy and I get my energy from being alone it’s as simple as that.

There is a massive difference between changing WHO you are and challenging yourself to do things you THINK you can't. The things you actually WANT to do.

Introverts are great leaders.

Now someone recently said to me “No we are looking for strong dynamic and entrepreneurial types - not introverts!”. Oh really. Well check out some of the great leaders in the world to realise that this belief is just nonsense and so outdated. I consider myself to be all of these things and I bet you do too.

Working for yourself, building your own business and being ambitious will mean (regardless of personality) that you will have to push yourself to do things you haven't done before. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. But not everyone will or can be a leader and that is something you have to decide for yourself - are you ready to lead or follow?

It's not easy but it can be so worthwhile and not just have a massive impact on your business, but also massively boost your own confidence too. For instance I have supported women to step up and tell more people about how great they are at what they do and what they stand for, despite them feeling 'cringey', because we worked together to find a way that felt GOOD to them. You don’t have to do it the way ‘extroverts’ have done business over the years.

You have the chance to carve out your own path. Do that.

**Gemma Stow works with female leaders who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find what is getting in the way of putting themselves forward and creates a space for them to explore who they really are and who they want to become.  As well as high level private coaching, she runs Introverts Talk Biz events where women come together to share ideas, struggles and make plans. More info on the next one HERE. Or book in a chat with Gemma if you are looking to increase your confidence so that you can do the things you keep telling yourself you can’t do **



Am I an introvert and why it matters in business?


So many people say to me “ you don’t need to label people we are all different”. Of course I know this already. Having worked in the public sector in probation, and with young people with different challenging behaviour there can be nothing worse than being labelled and being put into a box that is a one size fits all scenario!

But labelling can also have it’s benefits.

For years I used to think that I didn’t measure up. Questioning myself why couldn’t I be more like ‘her’, love public speaking, oozing confidence, full of charisma, the life and soul of the party?

It’s really important in business that you figure out who you are and get really clear on what you can do, what you think you can’t do and what you really want to do.

People often tell me that people that there is no need for labelling and who cares if you’re introvert or extrovert personality, but of course it does matter as it’s all about who you are and what you like to do and enjoy to do, rather than having to always feel like you’re not good enough because you don’t do things in a certain way and that is often the case for introverts.

Business is about telling others about what you do.

You know business is about the selling, marketing, visibility, putting yourself out there and at the same time all those things can scare the hell out of introverts because it’s doesn’t always appeal to us. However the only reason it scares us is because we associate all these things with being big, loud and in your face. When they really don’t need to be.

I know a lot of introverts that are amazing at selling because they do it in a way that feels good to them. They make real connections with people, build relationships get to know their customers. You just have to find the way that works for you not against you. I’m all about you finding out what your superpowers are and using them to your advantage in your business.

Am I an introvert?

So the traditional way to decide about your personality is to do the old school personality tests. I’m sure you’ve heard of Myers Briggs and other kind of personality questionnaires that you can spend time filling in your preferences and then it will come back and tell you what kind of personality you’ve got and what your strengths and your weaknesses are and all that kind of stuff.

If you’re interested here a few links to some of the personality test that you can take to see what you’re kind of personality is and they can be quite enlightening actually and when you read things about yourself like that makes sense under things start to fall into place for you. Check out Susan Cain’s or Sixteen personalities to start with.

It might also make you realise you know where some areas in your business needs some work. You know you are the expert at what you do for work, however there are always things in business that we avoid because they just don’t feel good are they not aligned with our personality.

So I am an introvert, what now?

Well now is the exciting part you get to look at all the areas of your life and see where your strengths are and how you can play on those strengths and use them to your advantage in business. It is all about looking at the things that you’ve previously decided aren’t for you and maybe to take a new perspective on them. For example a business owner downloaded my free guide on how to network even if you are an introvert and hate talking to strangers. After that she got in touch and told me the impact that had on her networking journey. She had started to regularly attend a local event. She has now spoken at that event and won an award for her business. From telling herself that networking wasn’t her thing to actually finding the right one for her has been a massive game changer!

So why not think of three things and figure out what it is but you need to focus on more in your business to really get the results you’re after. What have you been avoiding and telling yourself it isn’t your thing? Take a new perspective on it - how can you use your strengths to make it work for you?

I couldn’t find a networking event that really worked for me - so I started my own ‘Introverts Talk Biz’ and I haven’t looked back. The feedback has been incredible. One women said it was a like ‘coming home’ and she realised she could actually enjoy networking.

Here are three things you can think about….

  1. Where do your clients come from and are you actually being visible in that area? Just because it doesn’t necessarily float your boat - it might float your clients? Can you make it work?

  2. Figure out what makes business fun for you? It’s all about enjoying what you do - so take stock of your business model - does it actually serve you?

  3. Make sure you factor time in your diary to re-energise. If you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by going to networking events, showing up online etc you need to factor in some time alone to get your energy back. If you don’t do this you and keep pushing without time for yourself you start to become exhausted and feel negative towards your work, which could reinforce that you shouldn’t be doing the things you doing, when actually a lot of good and positive things can come from it.

When people tell you that it doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert, extrovert or someone in between, it actually really does matter and it really matters to your business and the success you want. Don’t hold back from trying different things - it might just be that you need to do things in your own way!

So maybe it’s about time you figured out what this means to you and how you can use it to your advantage. Figure out what your true strengths are and have some fun in business, it doesn’t have to be stressful and yes it will be hard work, but building a business is a rollercoaster so why not find the fun in everything you are doing instead of feeling scared or avoiding it.

Figuring out that you’re an introvert in business can be the best thing that ever happened. Let me know how you get on.

**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. Or book in a chat with her if you are looking to increase your confidence in different areas and find your inner fierce **



Why you and your business are missing out by avoiding networking events!


It is true – there is nothing that really compares to a live event. 

I have found this especially in business.  The powerful connections and life changing experiences have all started with events.  Getting to know others, being around likeminded people, having an understanding and similar purpose.


I hated events. 

Because it has not always been like that for me.  I hated events.  I hated networking events even more.

Why?  When we all know that building ‘know, like and trust’ is crucial to any business and by meeting people face to face can really speed up this process. 

Well I am a proud introvert and small talk and mingling with strangers and having to stand up and talk in front of them all within a specific time frame quite frankly does not float my boat.

So I used to avoid them – send my team to them – tell them it was for their own good to enhance their professional development and all that good stuff – when really I was hiding behind the fact that I couldn’t think of anything worse than attending these business events where you had to sell yourself – I mean that stuff is made for extroverts and egos right?


I bet I can give you five reasons why you avoid networking?


1.  Because you have to talk to strangers and make a good impression and introduce your business (and you still haven’t really got clear as clear can be on what it is you really do yet?)


2. Because it will mean taking time out of the day / evening that you could be spending working on the business (and let’s face it that’s the bit you love, that’s where the passion is at right?)


3.  You end up sat on your own (which you quite like) and smiling sheepishly at all those other delegates that have got it together and schmoozing the room like they own the god damn place looking at you with sympathetic feel sorry for you eyes.


4.  Why the hell would you pay for all of the above!


5.  You walk away without any new connections (because you only spoke to Michelle who you met last time because she works behind the bar), a goody bag full of business cards (your own included) and no further on with the results you are aiming for in your business.  No ROI (return on investment at all).

I understand I really do and don’t feel bad because we all feel like this at some point or another. 


Find events that are YOUR kind of events.

The trick is to find events that are your kind of events with your kind of people and this may involve attending a lot of 'frogs' to find the 'prince' of events that will give you new connections, access to new networks, referrals and recommendation opportunities.  

And that’s not because you spent the entire time selling yourself and being pushy – nope.  It is because you felt comfortable in the space to be able to help and support others in their business.  To give, not take.  That is the most important thing to remember.


You can be an introvert and actually get the most from business events.

You don't have to be the loudest in the room to be heard and you definitely don't have to be all about the sales to be remembered for who you are.  You have all you need already.  Listen to others, really listen and find people you are really interested in.  And ask them about their business.  And don't dread the "what do you do?" questions - go with it - someone else you get to show how passionate you are about what you do and why you do it!


I love nothing more than making real connections.

Well it is funny how times have changed, from hating such events, to now hosting my own. I also invest a lot in attending other's events too - ones that I know will be full of my kind of people and they always pay off.

Mine are not ordinary traditional events, but the type that are perfect for introverts like you to make real connections.  To get the most out of the investment you are putting into going in the first place – after all pjs and Netflix or a glass of vino with a good friend is also very appealing.


But networking (which in basic terms only really means interact with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts) is the cornerstone of business. 

It is so important in so many ways.  Not only for getting new customers and putting your business on the map, but also for your own support and developing relationships with people who get it and understand how tough it can be to work for yourself.

So if you are now a little convinced that actually venturing outside and attending an event or two might be something that you should think about to grow your business and your confidence then grab my free guide to get you started on the right path.   It has 5 simple steps to prepare you for your networking fun, will build your confidence and give you purpose.  Let me know how you get on!

Maybe my monthly event "Introverts Talk Biz" could be the perfect place to start - more info on the next event is here.   Time to get yourself out there and give your business the chance it deserves!



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs monthly events where Introverts Talk Business and a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. **




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But introverts don't do business do they?

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This was actually said to me today whilst I was chatting to somebody about being featured in the Yorkshire Post about my new face to face events for female introverts in business. 


"But introverts don't do business do they, aren't they too quiet?"

Wow.  I was pretty stunned as this came from a business owner I respect, but who obviously didn't have a clue about what introversion even means.  The next comment was indeed "so can men be introverted?'.  Oh dear.


It feels like there is a long way to go to educate people on what introversion actually is all about.  

The day before I was told that introverts are the worst listeners because they are too busy listening to themselves.  WTF.  Listening is my superpower and is what makes me a great coach to hear others on a different level, and not only hear the words, but also hear what lies beneath them as well.  It takes the concept of listening to another level.

But as I push forward on my mission to prove female introverts need to stop hiding because they have more than enough to be amazing at making real differences to others lives, I will definitely be up against more misconceptions for sure!  I mean I get told time and time again that I can't be an introvert because of my presence on social media.  Say what?


So I wanted to start by saying that introverts do business and do it really well. 

And if you still need convincing you only need to look at the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Warren Buffett and what about the ladies... Rosa Parks, JK Rowling, Emma Watson and Marissa Mayer.

It is also important to understand why you should get to know your own personality traits and how empowering that can be.  Lots of people tell me not to label as they are not useful.  I have spent most of my career trying my best not to label others and put them into boxes - however something happens when your own level of self awareness increases - you get your power back.

You start to recognise your strengths and skills that you just took for granted because you've always had them, they are a part of you. 

And actually these should be explored, developed and celebrated.  


I am not naive to think there isn't a darker side. 

Getting to know yourself means you could fall into the trap of using your introverted personality as an excuse not to do all the things that feel uncomfortable to you or zap all of your energy.  When actually to build your business you need to consider how you will make it work for you.  After all business is about identifying the things you think you can't and doing them anyway.

I know this from first hand experience of pushing my team to do the things I didn't want to do.  Things like selling, presenting, networking, making new connections, making phone calls, pitching, promoting and all that stuff, you get the picture. 


But I learnt quite quickly that nobody can sell my business like I can. 

I have the passion and that can't be replicated.  And you can't be either.

For too long business has been focused on the more extrovert personalities - and we have all been led to believe that this is what makes a business successful and that we have to be more 'extroverted' to win.  So much so, that it often puts off introverts from starting a business in the first place.


These are outdated, misleading conclusions derived from personality tests produced decades ago. 

I have experienced that the opposite is quite often more of a truer picture.  That introverts can use their super powers to be amazing at selling, presenting and promoting themselves and their business.  To avoid the fluffy crap that is often associated with pushy or cheesy sales, or drawn out boring presentations, and actually make real business connections in networking that will go somewhere.

So the next time you hear that introverts are too quiet or shy to be good at business, or even if you are telling yourself that - please remind them (and you) that in your face, intense energy, loud voices, small talk and big ego's don't always win the race. 

You have all you need to start and that's the most important part.


Never underestimate the power of an introvert's silence. 

It doesn't indicate nothing is happening.  It indicates everything is happening. 

And you can't even see it, yet.



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. **

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How post natal depression made me a savvy business woman.


10 years ago everything changed.   July 2008.

Not only did I become a mum for the first time, but ironically I also lost who I was. 

It was the first time I didn’t believe I could do something that I ‘should’ have been able to do naturally. 

I felt like a failure. The biggest failure of all time. Alone. Just me.  I realised I was carrying around the feeling for years that if I can fail at being a mum,  I’ll probably fail at everything else.  This realisation was the game changer for me and my businesses.


Post natal depression is hard to describe.

That feeling of hopelessness. That nothing I could do would ever be good enough. The anxiety and worry every minute of every day. The huge responsibility that was often too heavy to bare.  The dark cloud that followed me around. The fog. 

But looking back it also had a profound affect on me. It made me reassess what I really wanted. What makes me tick. And not what I thought I ‘should’ be under the pressures of society. 


It taught me to listen to my instincts.

That when I listen, really listen, they are super specific and usually spot on.

They know. I know. What’s really best. 

Accepting that working and making a difference to other people’s lives is in my blood. I needed it like I needed the air I breath. 

Not because it was satisfying some empty void, but because it was a sense of purpose. A determined purpose to make things happen. To create change. To unlock potential. A purpose I’ve felt deep inside since I was a little girl. Knowing I needed to aim high no matter what. To do the things that can’t be done. 

Because of this I didn’t think I could be a good mum. Because I didn’t crave to be with my children every minute of every day and I wanted to work instead. That feeling this way was bad. That I was bad. 


But I proved myself wrong.

By listening to what I needed, I could be EVERYTHING to my gorgeous baby girl. 

I see her today. Strong willed. Fiercely independent. Oozing confidence. A sense of belief in herself that she is capable of anything she sets her mind too.  And she is. 


I see me. The real me. 

The me that was once crushed by this sense of having to do the ‘right thing’ whatever that was. That I wasn't good enough if I didn't do what was expected of me - to stay at home and care for my children for all of the hours in the day.  The pressure and guilt associated with choosing to go to work instead.  I say choosing because I was.  I wanted to build a business from scratch and I knew that would take up a lot of energy and time.  Time away from my family.


Do I regret working so early on when she was little?  No. 

Do I regret not spending more time at home in the early days?  No. 

Do I think she’s lost out because of the decisions I’ve made?  No. 


Because I know that I had to find me before I could be the best mum to her and her brother. They are my world.

When I look at them. I mean really look at them. My heart stops and they sum up the sense of purpose. 

To not only teach them, but show them everyday that they too can do the things they may think they can’t. That they can be, do and have whatever they want. 


I couldn’t have planned or predicted the last ten years and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m more of the woman I had hoped I’d be. An inspiration to others.  Doing things that scare me. Making a difference. Taking risks. Trying things that others wouldn’t try. And things they didn’t want me to try either. Being the change I wish to see in the world. 


Am I still scared? Of course. 

Because if nothing else the last ten years have shown me that curveballs are around every corner. Waiting to test you.  Waiting to teach you.  A look. A comment. A loss. 

Those feelings still show up. But I spot them coming now.  I know them really well because I decided to get up close to them. To see them for what they are. 


Every experience we go through defines us.

The good, the bad and the ugly. Look for the lessons and embrace it by believing in yourself and how much you are truly capable of getting whatever you really want. 



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. **



Should I start my own business?


It is probably one of the biggest questions you could ask yourself  'Should I start my own business?' because it truly can be life changing.

You start to have that type of niggiling feeling.  Seeing others you know who are taking the leap to quit their jobs and start to work for themselves.  From what you know and have heard it is hard work but in return you get freedom and flexibility to work when and where you want.  To decide your own working hours. 

But on the other side, the dark side, you have been told that it takes over your life.  That to have any kind of success you have to live and breathe your business, you have to sacrifice the things you love the most such as time with your family and work double the amount of hours you would in your full time employment.

And there's the perks you leave behind - the paid holidays, sick days, guaranteed salary, stability and financial security.

Now this last part really gets me going.  That as business owners we are not seen to have a secure income, yet if you work for someone else you are.  That person you work for also needs to make sure they pay your wages and their own.  So actually having more control over what you can potentially earn, seems to me to be more secure than working for someone else when you think about it?

But how do you know if it's the right time to start a business?

The first thing to do is to find out what you are really passionate about, because without passion it is really hard to keep your motivation high on those days when it can be really tough.

The four questions you can ask yourself are:

  • "Why do I want to work for myself?".  Explore your values around this and what is your key driving force?  Family, flexibility, potential to earn more income, freedom to work in different places, make a difference and an impact on others..... what is your driver?


  • "What am I really passionate about?".  What are the things you could talk all night about and not get bored (you might bore others but who cares because you love it).


  • "What are my strengths, skills and experience that I can bring to a business?".  Think about what work you have done really well before.  What do you love about work and how can your skills help you with a business opportunity?


  • "What problem can I help to solve?".  What problem can you see in the area that you are passionate about, a gap in the market, or feel you can do something way better than it's being done now - explore that further.


When you have answers to these four things then you know you are on your way to creating something amazing.  This is when the "What if's" will kick in and that fear of failure.  What if it all goes wrong, what if is a complete flop and I don't have what it takes.


Having confidence and self belief is the cornerstone to a successful business. 

Yes it's important to get your branding, marketing and positioning right - but these things aren't to be used as excuses for not getting yourself out there and just starting.  Telling people about your plans , sharing your excitement and making new connections is the best way to get your business off to a flying start - the other stuff will then fall into place so don't hide behind the fact that you don't have a webiste yet.

Don't waste a shed load of time, money and energy on all of this stuff when you are still figuring it all out.  Trust me once you start you will grow and evolve and so will your business.  Even business names change, so make it easy on yourself and don't feel immense pressure to get everything perfect - it doesn't exist and you will get yourself in a right tizz worrying about that!

Don't let the start stop you - you can do this and will realise that, just as soon as you decide to go for it!



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. **



What to do when your fear of failure comes true?


The fear of failure is a big barrier for a lot of people.  

The big question of "What if?" that you play over and over in your head when you are about to do something in your business that requires courage and lady-balls of steel can often stop you before you start.

You don't start a business to watch your business fail.

The fear that it will all go horribly wrong and not be anything like what you want it to be, is a consequence that sometimes you cannot even begin to bare.  A consequence that is so worrying and terrifying that you convince yourself not to take that chance in the first place.

However, the fact that you have made the decision to work for yourself is a biggy anyway isn't it?  That in itself is brave, so it already shows you that you are ready to do this.

Maybe it's a new offer, programme, service or product that you want to put out there but you can't help wonder whether anyone will buy into it and into you for that matter.  What if the launch is a big flop?  What if I go for it and then make a fool out of myself?  What if other people see that I don't know what I am doing"  What if I get found out?  What if I don't get any sign ups to a group programme?.....that last one was mine.

I had run the group programme before.  Three times and I had filled spaces and the groups were super successful so I thought, why not, I will do it again.  I loved running the group coaching and was really excited to sign up new clients.

I had so many great testimonials from previous clients who really had life changing experiences working with me and doing the work on themselves.

So I put it out there - quietly confident that I would get some interest.

Nope.  Nothing.

I had talked about it so much - everyone wanted to know how many people I had signed up and I was slowly dying on the inside.  The self doubts creeping in.

Nobody thinks I am good enough anymore.

I have lost it.    It's gone and my dream business has gone with it.  No one wants to work with me anymore.  I started to hide.  Not be as visible.  Avoided talking abut it anywhere.

I felt like a complete failure because it had happened - the things that had scared me for so long and had stopped me from promoting what I had.  It had come true.  My launch was a big fat flop and I felt like a big fat failure.

I cried.  And then I cried some more.

Who I am to help other women be more visible, talk about what they do and promote and sell their products and services when I couldn't even do it myself.

Nope this was it.  The end.

But of course it wasn't.  I decided to speak with my coach about what had happened and instead of thinking that I had lost out we looked for the lessons.

Always look for the lessons.  You never ever fail.  You win or learn.

I know I needed to get back on it - to get back out there - but how could I?  I was obsessed with planning my next offer, my next launch, doing it better until my coach helped me see that I was too obsessesed with the 'planning' and I needed to start 'doing'.  

Getting back out there and being honest about the things I was going through really helped me build my confidence again.  

If you have been through something similar then why not try doing the opposite to what you think you 'should be doing.  Try something new.  Give yourself a chance at something different and watch the ideas and opportunities flow.

Don't be scared of failure.

Don't let it hold you back.  Embracing failure is the only way to success - they work together to ensure that you do.  Time to do it - get that offer, programme, product out there - stop letting the fear of it not working out hold you back - be curious and experiment and then  tweak it as you need to. 

Learn. Action. Fail.  Learn. Action. Fail. Success.

You've got this :)


**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts or want more confidence and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief.  More info HERE.  Or join her FREE community The F Movement**





Do I need a coach to be successful in business?

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This is such an interesting topic for discussion and yes you might think I may be a little biased considering the fact that I do class myself as a coach, mentor and all round arse kicker.

But I know that I had the exact same question when I was building my first business.  I worked relentlessly building a business from scratch for 7 years before I decided it was time to get some outside help.

The irony of that help was that six months later I closed my business.

I know what you are thinking - 'well there you go that didn't work did it' ...but actually it worked on so many levels that I still find it difficult to explain.

The business mentor that came and worked with me opened my eyes to what I really wanted.  For the first time I was having to think about it in detail.  I was so used to focusing all my energy on helping others, the clients, the young people, the staff , my family and friends that I realised that I never spent any time working on me.

I had so many breakthroughs about the things that had been holding me back.  It pains me in one way to think how different things could have been for my first business had I got this kind of support earlier.

The business mentor felt like he had failed me because I decided to close the business, but that was far from the truth.  He changed my life and opened up my eyes to what was actually possible for me.

So when I started this online business I run now there was no doubt in my mind that I needed the right support to make sure I made it happen.  The pressure was one.  I had returned to working full time for somebody else (not an easy thing to do after running your own company) and I knew that I had to build a business that, not only did I love, but also one that would make me money and give me the freedom that I craved for.  I knew I could do it but I also knew I needed someone outside my social circles and family that would push me.

I got to stalking different coaches online and found ones that would suit me and had also built what I wanted to build.  I found her.  And it changed everything.  I have since worked with five different coaches all providing me with different things I have needed for my business to grow.

So back to the question 'Do I need a coach to be successful in business?' the answer for me was YES.  To decide whether that is the same answer for you, consider these points?

  • Are you good at keeping yourself focused or do you tend to drift off and procrastinate at any opportunity?
  • Do you like to find excuses (whether real or not) to avoid doing the scary things you know will make all the difference?
  • Do you excel with reporting back and sharing your achievements with others?
  • Do you like to be challenged?
  • Do you struggle to ask for help?
  • Do you want to get to your goal faster?

If you answer YES to the above then I would urge you to consider hiring a coach or mentor.  For me hiring a coach changed everything.  It has definitely, and continues to, make me more successful in business and I don't think I will ever be without one as self development is too important to me not to invest in.

I have invested in the right people and sometimes ones that weren't right for me - but I would never see that as wasted money - more look to what I have learnt from that and work even harder to make it back.  And the right coach will help you do that ten times over.

If coaching is something that you are thinking about and you are at the stage where you are ready to start to make this all happen for you too then reach out to me.  I love to hear from ambitious women like you.  But most of all ....don't give up and get support if you need it - it will save you lots of time and heartache in the long term.


**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts or want more confidence and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief.  More info HERE.  Or join her FREE community The F Movement **





Stop waiting for the confidence to come first....


We often wait to feel confident before we jump and do those things that really scare us – but the actual ‘jump’ is the one thing that gives us the confidence we are looking for.


‘You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it.  You have to go down the chute” (Tina Fey)


You ever had that feeling where you want something so badly but you keep telling yourself that you will do it when you feel more confident.  And the more you wait for that confidence to arrive, the more you hear little miss self doubt whispering in your ear.


‘You can’t do it”

“You are not good enough”

“Who are you to think you can do this”

“Everyone will laugh at you”


Yep there she is.  And the more she whispers the more you put it off until another day.  And that day doesn’t come.

How do you think that affects your confidence – do you think that makes you stronger?  More confident to do it next time?  Nope.


The only way to get more confidence is doing the thing that scares you. 


It is good to feel uncomfortable because it means we are growing and learning.  We are getting stronger when we survive the uncomfortable.  Our brains learn that the fear has subsided because nothing ‘bad’ happened to us when we jumped.

Our thoughts, feelings and behaviour are all connected – you can’t have one without the other, and most of the time it is easy to spot the feelings and behaviour, but not always the thoughts that go with it. 

These are the things that can stop us before we even start.  The negative way we talk to ourselves.   Can you hear your own thoughts?  What are you saying to yourself?

We can flip this and start to talk to ourselves in a more positive, empowering way, to push ourselves to take that step outside of our comfort zone and take the action we need.  When you start facing things in this way your confidence will grow.


If you are looking for tips and techniques on boosting your confidence and facing fears that hold you back, then come and hang out with me in my awesome private group called The F Movement.  This is no ordinary group.  I set Mini Challenges to help you find your fierce when it comes to promoting yourself and your business.  To being more visible even if you are an introvert by nature.  Expect to be inspired and supported by me and the other incredible women in there doing it all to take that action that you have been putting off taking.



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief.  More info HERE. **


What stops you being visible online?


Being visible online can be scary.   But if you run your own business then it really can help to boost your know, like and trust factor with potential customers and therefore increase profits!

If you have been putting off getting yourself and your business out there then it is time to find your fierce and increase your visibility today!

It is pretty normal to feel scared.  Scared to put yourself out there online for your business to reach your customers.  I was scared too.

As we grow and learn there are always new parts of our lives that demand a different version of us and this can in itself bring more challenges and self doubts.

It was July 2015 that I posted my very first blog online.  I had no idea what I was doing.  But I did it anyway, and guess what.. I didn’t tell anyone.

It was online, yes - but it took me about 3 months to actually share it and then I hid behind another name.

I hid behind the name 'Fiercemum' and nobody, apart for my nearest and dearest knew about it - that was the start of something special - but only because I decided it would be.  

As a introvert this was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I like being behind the scenes and letting others take the limelight...but I knew that this time I had to do things differently.  I had to dig deep to find the confidence and strength to push those doubts I had about myself to one side, so I could step out of the shadows and help others to do the same - to be fierce in all areas of their lives. 

You know those doubts – ones like …

“I am not good enough”

“Who am I to think I can do this”

“What will others think of me”

“I don’t know enough and don’t have what it takes”

And it is not easy to silence those doubts – but with courage and paying attention to yourself and those thoughts, it can be done.


I have and it feels great.  I now have a great online business which means I can work from anywhere - which is all I have ever wanted; freedom and flexibility to do what I want, when I want, so that it suits my family and me.  And with my business means I get to work with ambitious women who also want the same thing too!  To make a difference and make money.

It all came from showing up.  From getting the 'ladyballs' to do what I believed in.  To be persistent even when I thought there was no point.  To get visible and show others what I stand for and what I can do to help them too.

I kept going. 

Because when you start the visibility dance you keep dancing and don’t stop.

Stopping means checking out what others are doing, or worrying about who is watching and not dancing with you, overthinking your own dance moves, instead of just enjoying your time on the dance floor and making YOUR dance up as you go.

Well you can have this too.

This is what I am all about - empowering women who work for themselves (or want to) to feel fierce about who they are and what they stand for and to have the confidence to go shout about it.  Not for them but for those people they want to reach.


So if this is what you want them connect with me over in my free group The F Movement for female entrepreneurs or book in a call with me today and let's chat about what you need that will make the difference between no one knowing about you and your business, to all those potential customers who want to get to know you better!

Just think how AWESOME it'll be when you can stop feeling overwhelmed, confused and hiding - to be super clear, confident and excited about taking that all important fierce action and being seen for who you really are!

No more hiding – much more dancing!



**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief.  More info HERE. **


#Too many Ideas, not enough time

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As entrepreneurs it is safe to say that we all have so many ideas that we want to do it all at once.  As soon as we think it, we want it done straight away.  But to get them all done takes focus.

We strive to be super focused - especially with our business because we know deep down that giving focus to what matters will be a massive positive to our success.  So why is it so hard to do.  Why do we always multi task instead and waste so much more time doing it?

Do you class yourself a as multi-tasker?  Are you constantly flipping from one thing you have to do, to the next, losing focus on the task you started?  If you stopped and checked yourself – how many things are you working on at once?

This was me.  Doing all the things, all of the time.   The quickest route to losing your mind.

I have learnt that it is not the way to go when it comes to getting daily stuff done in your business.

Yes there are lots of things to do and I can hear you saying to me right now ...."all well and good but my to do list is as long as your arm Gemma!"

The thing is when we have long to do lists and new and exciting ideas ALL of the time, then it gets too much.  Overwhelm creeps in.  I have found myself feeling a little of this lately and so have been taking my own advice.  I have got a lot to do and if I start to think about everything that needs doing, it then begins....that sinking feeling.....that f**k it I am not doing any of this anymore feeling......I know I need to take some time out and get my head back in order.

So I do just that.  Because I can recognise quite quickly when I am not getting anywhere fast.  Trying to do ALL the things.

If you don't learn to recognise this in yourself and the feelings that come up for you when overwhelm hits and your ideas are popping out of your brain, then you can get into a right old tizz.

This then leads onto you not achieving anything at all.  You start telling yourself you can't do it, that you don't have what it takes and that you should give up this business and passion and go get a "proper job".

Well remember, you have totally got this and just need to LISTEN and HEAR the signs when overwhelm is coming - because it does and will always hang around.  It has to I guess, because you will always have all those amazing ideas whizzing around your head and the overwhelm is YOU telling yourself to SLOW down and FOCUS on one thing at once.

So even if you are feeding your newborn with one arm, whilst making a coffee with the other, typing emails and writing your to do list (right that's four hands but you get the picture and that's what it can feel like!) then you can still make the decision to FOCUS on one thing at once for your business.

Ask yourself this "What do I need to do to get me closer to where I want to be?", or "What matters most to my business and me today?"  And then just commit to doing that one thing.  When you have smashed that move onto the next.

Now if you do this and notice that you aren't getting around to all the scary stuff you need to do, because you are focusing on the easy stuff - then that's another convo altogether - but I can guarantee that the scary stuff will get you to where you want to be much faster then the easy stuff.  How do I know?  Because it worked for me and still does!

So if you only remember one thing from this, remember this …

"Ditch multi tasking...FOCUS on one thing at once"

Just watch how much more empowered you feel by getting stuff done instead of beating yourself up for not achieving anything and having half arsed, not finished, tasks on your to do list!

You've got this and if you don't feel like you have, then get in touch and tell me about it.  I help women like you to get on top of your game.

Gemma x


Gemma loves nothing more than helping ambitious women to stop holding themselves back and build unstoppable businesses.  Come join Gemma and The F Movement to be inspired everyday and if you are on a mission to Find Your Fierce and get you and your biz out there then try out the FREE 5 day challenge to do just that!

#Reality Check

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This is your reality check.

Yes the balance is tough.  Yes the struggle is real.  But then so are your dreams.  They are real and important to you.  Nothing ever worth having comes easy.  And yes it is hard to build a dream business following work that lights you up whilst also raising a family and this makes it even harder.

But stop making those excuses.  Stop using the fact that you are a mum, sister, daughter, wife, partner as the reason you aren’t following your dreams.  Stop blaming time or the lack of it as the excuse that you haven’t done everything you want to do. 

I am calling you out. 

Because you and I both know that this is a bullshit excuse for the FEAR that is really stopping you.  Maybe you haven’t realised where that fear is coming from and maybe you don’t even want to go there - but carrying on hiding behind the excuses of raising a family, having no time or money to do the things you really want to do has to stop.

I am an ambitious women and a mum, wife, sister, daughter, friend and coach and I know the reason why I do what I do and work hard on my business and my dreams – is so I can have the flexibility, freedom and choice to be where I want to be when I want to be there.  For my children, my husband, me family, my clients and for me.  That’s my why – what’s yours?  Get clear on your motivation and the real reason why you want something?

Do you find yourself saying “I wish I could do this or I wish I could do that?”  Well the reality is that we all do that – all the time – the difference is that some of us will go for it #noexcuses and others won’t.  Sometimes we win and sometimes we learn – both are awesome, but the one thing we don’t have is regrets.

When I fall I get back up.  I will do what it takes.  I am known for getting things done.

What are you known for?  What do you stand for?

Be you. 

There is no better time for you to show up and stand up for what you believe in.  It is your time to shine and be the awesome and successful woman you were born to be.

Go be fierce.  You’ve got this.

And if you want to be pushed to do this - then take my Fierce in 5 days challenge to get yourself out there with zero excuses!

G x

#When everyone else believes in you.....but you don't.

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It is fab isn't it when everyone else around you supports you and thinks you are awesome.  That feeling of getting praise and pats on the back for all your inspiration, hard work and dedication feels great... or does it?

Does it mean that much if YOU don't believe it?

Some days I don't.  Some days I question everything I am doing?  Do you?

I wonder whether it is giving me what I set out to get...the freedom to work when and where I want, to make a real difference and to make real money.

There is no doubt that I have worked hard building my business and that my work does make an impact on others and a difference to their lives, and I am making money from it, but just some days the doubts can creep in.  Who am I to do this?

Sometimes it doesn't FEEL real.  Do you know what I mean?  I guess it is hard to put into words but I recently read a quote from Lewis Howes and it really hit home for me....

"It doesn't matter if the entire world believes i you - if you don't believe in them they will never come true".

It reminded me that SELF belief is everything.  It doesn't matter if everyone around you keeps saying you can do it- if you don't believe you can then it won't happen will it?

And it is so true!  Think about it, when was the last time you achieved something so amazing you couldn't quite believe you had done it?  That hurdle you had to overcome, that tough decision you had to make, that work that didn't light you up but was part of the bigger picture.....?

Believing you can make it happen is the best foundation to get in place before working on anything else - but sometimes actually doing it and taking action is the only way to get that ball of self belief rolling too.

It can feel like a catch 22 - "I can't start because I am not sure it will work / I will only know if it will work if I start".

I am not naive to think these types of feelings can ever disappear,  but I do know that from the last 18 months building this business and all of my experience working with behaviour, change and motivation over the last 17 years has taught me that there are ways to get past it. 

It starts and ends in your head.

To not let those doubts stop you going for what YOU want.  The key is to figuring that out and heading straight for it and pushing any doubts aside - shooting for the stars that you believe deep in your heart you can reach.  This is why it doesn't work if it isn't what YOU want.  If you are solely doing it because others think you should, then the motivation isn't strong enough - you have to want and BELIEVE it too.

So the next time someone tells you how amazing you are.  Say thank you and accept it and add it to your own bucket of self belief!  And keep filling that up every day!

Keep going - you got this.

Love Gemma x

And if you need some support join my community of ambitious women that will have your back OR grab some of your own self belief with the Fierce in five days Challenge.

#Face your fears

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Is it time to face your fears?

Here are mine....

In the past year I have faced SO many fears.... things that would have normally stopped me from doing what I wanted….

They include;

*risking big financial investments in myself
*digging deep and getting to know me better and what I really want
*networking at big events, 
* hosting my own event and public speaking
*getting to know and making connections with others awesome women in groups, 
*putting myself out there on social media, 
*my face on my website which I designed and built myself from scratch, 
*honest facebook lives
*public speaking (paid gigs)
*selling myself, my services and empowering others
*designing and implementing amazing coaching programmes and delivering the goods for my fabulous clients, 
*building this online community (which I have been in every day for over 18 months and doubling the size in just 10 months)
*voicing my opinions even when others don't necessarily agree
*having negative comments and insults thrown at me in this online crazy world
*growing thick skin
*last year juggling full time hours, young children, closing down my previous business and setting up my new one. 
*dealing with corporate legal shizzle
* designing my online self study course
*growing my ladyballs daily

And lots more in between.

This has not been easy. And there have been many times I would have given up.

But I didn’t. Because I don’t quit. It is not in my nature and guess where fierce comes from.

I love it too much and I have come too far to only come this far.

Sometimes we need to stop and look back and see just how far we have come...against the odds.

Compare YOU against YOU.

I am such a different person and those that know me personally will see that for sure.

So when people say - "you've changed .. I say I fucking hope so"

Ready to face your fears - start by joining my group

Love FM x

#Why wobbles are good for you.

So I am going to get a bit vulnerable and talk about those wobbles.....nope not the wobbly bits we all want to ditch before the summer hols (or is that just me?)....but the wobbles we have up there in our mind.

You see we all have them, we all hate them, but we don't all realise that we can actually use them to our advantage - wobbles can be good for you!

So I have been doing an amazing challenge this week in an amazing group.  The challenge was about positioning - but it has been so much more than that to me.

I started off well, and when Wednesday came and after seeing everybody’s posts the day before, I’ll have to admit I had a wobble.
I decided in that moment that I might bow out of the challenge and almost did. 
If I am being completely honest with myself and you, I didn't feel up to scratch with all the amazing women doing their thing and strutting their stuff in this incredible group.  I haven’t been there that long and I love the powerful vibe it has.  But it knocked me.
I could easily have said that I was too tired from the 12 hour stint I had done that day that started at 530am (doing work for the other half's family biz), or the fact I have a coaching call at 8pm after sorting the kids tea and getting them to bed, meant that I just didn’t have the time to post or go live.
I could justify my reasons for not carrying on with the challenge to myself.  And then it hit me as I stood in the post office queue banking someone’s else’s money.
Oh the irony!!!
The irony is, is this is exactly why I do what I do.  I empower women to figure out what bloody excuses they are using that keeps them stuck.  When really they aren’t taking action because the fear and self doubt kicks in.
It pisses me off that we settle for less and justify it with lame excuses. And this might hurt, but it is even more frustrating when amazing mums don't feel good enough to do the things they really want to do and blame the fact they are just too busy with the kids, have lack of sleep and lack of time. 

We hide behind these excuses.
My own confidence took a hit when I became a mum and I felt like I had to be somebody else.  Somebody who everyone else decided I should be.  Somebody I didn’t want to be.  I still needed to work; I was ambitious and driven and this didn’t just disappear when I had children.  In fact the whole feeling of having to change left me depressed.  I got through it with support and getting back to doing work I loved saved me.  Of course my kids are my world – it goes without saying – and I 'shouldn't' need to say that before I say that I love to work and it loves me back!
Realising that I can ‘have it all’ and getting clear on what my ‘all’ is.
So that day when I stood in that queue, I realised the absolute bull shit of my thoughts.  And that there was no way on earth that I wasn’t going to show up for the challenge. 

There was no way I was going to let little miss self doubt win and there was no way I wouldn’t find the time (tired or not tired) to show up because that’s what I do and that’s what I help others do too.  It’s not all about me. 
I don't want any woman to feel less or settle for less because she's a mum and has to prioritise others – she can still put herself and her dreams first.  In fact she has to and will be a better mum for it.
Why I do it? 

Because I believe we can have it all, and it may mean growing a pair of ladyballs, ditching the excuses and taking fierce action – but it is so worth it.
I did do a facebook live about this too - so if you haven't seen it check it out in the The F Movement.

It is not easy for me to vulnerable and put myself out there that I am not perfect - but I am not - none of us are.

So what will you choose to do?  Start to pay attention to those wobbles and reasons we make for not doing what we really want to do.  

Or stick with the excuses and carry on as you are.... the choice is totally yours...but if you are ready and willing to notice what you are telling yourself then you might just open yourself up to the wobbles, but they can actually be really good for you if you let them in.

This is what I love to do - so if you are ready to get up close to those excuses so you can push them to one side and do what you really want to do, to get yourself and your business out there and make more connections, attract customers and make more income, then get in touch with me and we can jump on a call and see whether working with me would be the thing you need to take fierce action.

You don't need to hide anymore - you've got this. 

Love Gemma x



#Stop Comparing Yours to Theirs.

Comparison is the thief of joy.  That's what they say - what do you think?

I can really understand this statement and it can be very overwhelming when you start to compare yourself to others and the impact that this can have on how you truly feel about yourself.

I did a #FierceTalk was on this very subject - if you missed it check it out.

Comparing where you are right now with someone else in a negative way is not good for you.  Especially when you use it to find faults with yourself.

The problem is that you don't recognise your own strengths and beauty as you are far too busy comparing yourself to others.

You start to feel undeserving, inadequate and inexperienced.  Who am I to do this? I don't have what she has? I am not good enough who will listen to me?

Do you find you do this?  We all do it at times and it can be detrimental to our self esteem.  If this becomes a habit then we start to lose confidence in our own abilities and the pressure and overwhelm creeps in and we stop moving forwards - we give up, we think what's the point?

Social media has only served to increase these feelings if we allow it to.  Do you know what I mean? Watching someone else's movie reel and all their highlights about what they are up to!  The thing to remember is that it is only their highlights - not everyone would have the lady balls to show up and show off their down days - those moments where everything has gone to shit.  It isn't easy sharing this with the world because of the fear of being judged - what will they think of me if I do show up and I haven't got my shit together?

Constant comparing of this nature will not end well.

Constantly comparing yourself to others in a negative way can lead to depression and anxiety because you ultimately tell yourself you have a shit life because it is not like those other people's lives you see on your phone.  Now there is a sentence I wouldn't have thought I would write - but it is so true.  We have all been there and I know you have too.

Well it is time to stop.  

You have an incredible life and can use it to inspire others.

Firstly you cannot compare your chapter 1 to somebody else's chapter 20.  It just doesn't work like that.  Of course there will be differences, of course they will have experienced more things, and you will too as you create more chapters in your life.  

Secondly, at least you have a chapter 1 right?  There will be others comparing themselves to you too - only thinking about starting to follow their dreams, but are too scared to show up yet.  They don't even have a chapter and will look to you and be amazed by how you did it.

I was watching my 8 year old daughter in her dance class last night.  I love seeing her dance and the passion she has.  She shows determination and commitment and never misses a class.  

She does get concerned about how far the other girls have got and how they can do this move and that move and she can't.  But what was interesting last night was that another little girl was asked to do the finale move - an amazing cartwheel without hands - which she was brilliant at but only on soft mats.  

The tutor wanted her to practice it on the hard floor ready for the real competition.  Se was scared to do it.  She cried.  Her dance class buddies were all staring at her, and then out of nowhere, they started clapping - it gives me goosebumps to relive it to be honest.  

It was amazing to watch.  Her girls had her back.  She knew it.  And she bloody did it.  And yes all the girls were probably thinking they wish they could do that move (I know my daughter was) but they didn't sit there feeling negative towards their team mate - they encouraged her to be the best version of herself, to push her out of that comfort zone, to do the thing she really wanted to do, because that is what is needed in these times where we think we can't go on.  

We need encouragement.  Which by definition is the action of giving someone support, confidence and hope.

And all those other girls who did the encouraging will feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that when their time comes they will have a huge team of other girls who will encourage them to do the same.  It's bloody inspirational and it is what I am all about.

Watching that unravel last night brought me to tears because it kinda sums up everything I stand for.  

Women having each other's back.  

So yes you may feel that someone is better than you and maybe they are further on their journey - but remember they were once where you are right now, and there are others who are only dreaming of being where you are.  

It is time to stop the negative comparison BS.

And instead start using comparison to your advantage.  Truly believe that if she can do it then it is possible for you too.  

Don't forget that.  

If someone is paving the way for you then this is a great thing, as it means that you can run along that path knowing full well what will be at the end of it.

Her success is definitely not your failure - it is only your beginning.


FM x


If you have not yet joined our amazing group of Fiercemums then come on over. 

And if you are ready to figure out what you really want and to discover that passion you can turn into work you love then grab my free gift here.




#No Excuses

Did you catch my Facebook live on this?  

I had been doing some reflection and thinking about the things I hear from women I speak to both in my business and friends and family.  A common theme is that we don't have the time to do what we really want to do because we are too busy raising a family.  Does this sound familiar ?

It is true - the struggle is real and the balancing act is tough - working and raising your family can feel relentless at times - but it can also feel exhilarating.

Don't get me wrong I have those days too where it all feels like too much and I wonder what the flip am I trying to do here - but then I remember the real deep down reasons of what I do it for and it all makes sense again.

If you are doing work you love then this comes easier than if you are in work that does not light you up anymore.  And the thing is - we are women - and once we have decided that we don't like something the way it is we can't stop thinking about it.  If this is in a negative way then it can be all consuming and can lead to you feeling down and depressed.  

I am on a mission for ambitious women who love to work, to be doing the thing that lights them up.  After all if we are trading time away from our little ones then it surely has to be what we love to do?

How are you feeling about work?  If it isn't floating your boat anymore and there is something you would prefer to be doing then now is the time to do something about it #noexcuses.  

Maybe you know you need to step out of your comfort zone to be able to achieve the thing you want to achieve - but instead you are finding any excuse not too?

Yeah the best excuse is not having enough time because you are a working mum.  I know sounds harsh but is it the truth?

Time to get honest with yourself - is that the real reason or is there something else - maybe something around worrying about what others will think about you for stepping up and putting yourself out there? Maybe focusing all your time and attention on your family has totally knocked your confidence? Or just maybe you don't think anyone will care or listen to you because you are not good enough or you need something on paper to say you can do it before you start?  


Listen, whatever your big idea, whatever your service, skills, expertise or products you have that you want to share with the world, whatever problem you can solve for others - how the hell is anyone going to come get it if you don't put yourself out there consistently?  There are others needing you right now and they can't find you because you say you don't have the time to do more.


I say that if you want something enough then you will find the time.  If there is something else getting in your way - then dig deep, figure it out and push past it.


You've got this  - now go bloody do it.




If you have not yet joined our amazing group of Fiercemums then come on over. 

And if you are ready to figure out what you really want and to discover that passion you can turn into work you love then grab my free gift here.



#Find the Confidence.

So do you consider yourself to be a confident person ...depends on what you are doing?  Yeah me too.

We are all confident in some things and less so in others.  It is only natural.  The key is to figure out what you don't feel as confident in and face that fear.

This is a big deal for us mums as having babies and starting a family can sometimes knock your confidence.  Spending so much time being obsessed with everything baby while you are pregnant and then obsessed with everything new mum and baby after your little bundle of joy arrives is a whole life change to adjust too.  Having time off from your normal work and social circles can really take its toll on your self confidence.  

For me it was such a shock and a massive learning curve becoming a mum that I doubted myself straight away.  I didn't think I was cut out to be a 'good enough' mum and I know this can happen to so many like minded professional women who are so used to being control of their own lives, and then your little bundle of joy throws all that out of the window.  It can be a scary time.  The unknown.  But then that is true for most things we are unsure about.

If you haven't done something before then your primal brain starts telling you to be fearful and on alert as this could hurt you.  

You decide to fight, flight or freeze.  If you decide to fight and do it anyway and don't get hurt, your brain gets the message that 'ok I didn't die so maybe this isn't as dangerous or scary as I first thought' - the more you do it, the more you grow in confidence.

Taking action is the best way to reduce your fear.

Are there times that you can think of << Test First Name >> where you have felt like this or experienced something similar?  I have lots.  And I know the women I work with are often trapped by fears that they don't even know exist.  I was for years until I decided to figure myself out.

I have been live on my Facebook Business page every evening to share a tip to give yourself that boost of confidence when you need it.  If you have missed them go take a look and let me know what you think.  

I would love you to share any thoughts or experiences on growing our confidence in our amazing group of supportive ambitious mums.

Remember - If you can dream it then you can do it.  Anything is possible.

You've totally got this.

Love FM


#Doing things Differently

Doing things differently.png

It is shocking news to wake up to this morning in the world.  

When I feel like this I turn to gratitude and look to how people can make a difference if they follow their own hearts and dig deep and respect each other.    But maybe we need to do things differently.

Sometimes we can feel that we have no control over our own lives.  That things are already decided for us and that we just have to go along with it.  But this is not the case.  You do get to decide what you want.  You do get to decide how you want to feel.  And you do get to choose.

When I see things that make me sad or even angry and frustrated - I reflect.

I reflect on what feelings this stirs inside me.  And reflect why this is.  It is usually because I care.  I care about others.  One of my favourites quotes is 'Be the change you wish to see in the World'.  This resonates with me so much and has been a driving force behind the decisions I have made in my career.  

I have always wanted to empower others to be the person they can be.  To unlock all of their potential.  Potential they sometimes think isn't there.  I have also worked hard to unlock my own potential.  Potential I maybe didn't realise I had and sometimes still don't.  But to do this we must do things differently.

A few weeks ago I watched my 3 year old son in his swimming class.  At the end they were singing and playing a game doing the hockey cokey.  You had to grab a floating toy and then the kids should have thrown it back into the middle on each verse and then grab a different one.  

It was so interesting as all of the other children grabbed a toy and held onto it throughout the whole song.  Not letting go to that one toy.  My son threw his toy back in every time.  He went for a different one.  Watching all the children made me realise that my son seemed to be having the most fun.  Grabbing a new toy then throwing it back in, sometimes getting a new one and sometimes missing out.  So striving harder and reaching further the next time.  But he was laughing the whole time.  I felt proud.

It made me reflect on how life can be similar.

Do you hang onto what you have in life because you feel secure in the fact that you at least have something, and don't let go for fear of not getting anything better.  Or do you keep trying different things, taking risks and opportunities to feel different and enjoy the game.

Sometimes change feels scary and unnecessary - but most of the time change is good.  It gives us all a chance to do things differently.

Dig deep today and look around at the amazing beautiful people in this world that shine love and respect for each other.  You are one of them.  

Shine bright and do things differently.


Stay strong.  Stay fierce.

You've got this

FM x



Come on over and connect with us in the fiercemums private group and over on Instagram

We are celebrating having an attitude for gratitude today (it is our theme over in the Fiercemums group on a Wednesday) - so be sure to come over there and find some positive energy and share yours with us.