22nd April 2016
So I have started running on a regular basis.
I have always wanted to be one of those women who loves running, looks great, feels great and is fit and healthy. You know the ones!
The problem is, I am not very good at it. Nevertheless, I started anyway, as I figured what the hell if I don’t start then I will never love it.
My motivation has been high, at first, then one morning I found it tough, and the little voice crept in saying what the hell are you doing just grab a cuppa instead!
This negative thought made me reflect on how running is so much like being a working mum (or any mum for that matter).
Some days, your motivation is high, you’re committed, excited, and you are well chuffed with how great you are! Some days are low, you are tired, fed up questioning the choices you are making. You don’t have the energy to go on.
But you do. You have to. Its not an option to stop being mum.
When I first became a mum, the shock and intensity crippled me and, me, a professional and independent woman, was left feeling vulnerable and unable to get myself out of one of the most difficult situations I found myself in.
PND (Post Natal Depression) is a very difficult concept to describe. At the time I could have described it as hell. Here I was, a once strong women who had become this weak female supposed to be responsible for another little life doubting every decision I made. Constantly considering ‘Do I have what it takes?’ Watching other mums or my own leading the way and being so amazing, but with my baby, and I couldn’t do it.
Or so I thought.
That was a number of years ago and since then I have done a lot of soul searching through my personal and my business life and had a huge realisation in the middle of last year that a lot of my self doubt has come from that period in my life. The belief that stayed with me;
‘If I can fail at doing the one thing I am suppose to do naturally, then how can I achieve anything else’.
This moment of clarity came from working with my coach on my business plans. It has made a huge difference to my life. My life has taken a new path because of this and I am crushing other limiting beliefs that were holding me back. Don’t get me wrong it can sometimes creep back, but now I can recognise it.
So no more holding back or waiting for tomorrow. The time is now to be fierce with my dreams. And I will.
I finished my run. Ready for the next.
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